Crash

Flying would be much better than driving. I feel I would have less a chance of crashing, or at least I hope I would. I'm a horrible driver, even with my honey at my side holding the wheel and guiding me. Driving turns me into a literal wreck. I had a near panic attack as I even got into the driver's seat.

Excerpt from today's Melodramatic blog:

I was driving on the road today for the very first time. My love was holding on to the wheel as my security blanket. About 10 minutes into driving, I started crying and couldn't stop. I pulled over and let him finish driving. He said he was proud of me and that I did really good. I feel like I was going to kill everyone in the vehicle. I shouldn't drive. As a child, I had numerous nightmares of crashing in vehicles when I was behind the wheel, even if the car wasn't running. I even once dreamt that the car I was in started reversing out of control.

I think I have problems. Also, I miss clear vision like no other. As I cried, my glasses got all smudged with make-up and tears, it was unbearable.

I really shouldn't be procrastinating like this, you know. Motivate me, please. I've been stressing to the maximum level for quite some time now. I have bursts of crying every now and then from the stress build up. My stressing interferes with many key concepts of my daily routines. I'm a fucking wreck. I also think I'm gaining weight. I'm actually pretty sure that I am. Ugh.

It's days like this where I just want to jump off a cliff and take flight.