Ten

Ten fucking days. Fuck. You know, I'm not even in college yet and I feel like I'm already drowning in the stress of it. I'm so fucking stressed. I doubt I'll receive any financial aid or any scholarships to help with college. I'm pretty much fucked for life as of today. I'm such a fucking failure. I fail at fucking everything. I have no future set for me. I envy those who claim they have theirs set. Where did I go wrong? The clock is tick, tick, ticking away and here I am blogging. I could be doing more productive things, though it is about 11 at night. I don't need the sleep. I need to pull my life together. I'm constantly falling apart and barely pulling myself together. These days I'm rarely fully put together. I'm a failure at life and everything I hope to achieve. Sometimes I wish I could just blow a bullet in my skull. It's so useless. It's supporting such a useless organ to me. These are the days where I would just love to drop everything and jump off a fucking cliff. The very thought makes my heart beat with joy and anticipation. I'm really not cut out for life. I never asked to be here. I'm sure I wasn't asked to be here anyway. I just really need to get away from the world. Anywhere.