Fat

Today I got a $55 belly piercing + ring. I'm quite dissapointed in myself for letting him pay for it.

Anyway, I found an interesting survey and I figured I might as well do it. I am quite notorious for doing surveys and never posting them up for the world to see. A goal on my life's list is to be more open. Another one is to get a semi-drastic piercing and that is done. I should really write all these goals down somewhere. When I have the time I suppose I shall.


I AM :
[ ] anorexic
[ ] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[x] Under 100lbs
[x] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast

PEOPLE :
[x] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[x] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[x] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[ ] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic

I WISH :
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[ ] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I LOVE :
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[x] shaking
[ ] being weak
[x] losing weight
[x] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

APPEARANCE:
[x] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes
[x] I have many scars
[x] I tan easily
[x] I wish my hair was a different color
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[ ] I have a tattoo
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[ ] I have/had braces
[x] I wear glasses
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger
[x] I have more than 2 piercings
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[ ] I have freckles

FAMILY:
[x] I've sworn at my parents
[ ] I've run away from home
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house
[ ] My biological parents are together
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I've had children
[ ] I've lost a child

EMBARRASSMENT:
[x] I've slipped out a "L-O-L" in a spoken conversation
[x] Disney movies still make me cry
[ ] I've peed from laughing
[ ] I've snorted while laughing
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my trousers rip in public

RELATIONSHIPS:
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged
[ ] I'm married
[ ] I've gone on a blind date
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper
[x] I miss someone right now
[x] I have a fear of abandonment
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[x ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship

SEXUALITY:
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher
[x] I am a cuddler
[x] I've been kissed in the rain
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

HONESTY:
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't
[x] I've snuck out of my house
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game
[x] I've cheated on a test
[ ] I've been suspended from school.

BAD TIMES:
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[x] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm upset.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying

WEIGHT:
[x] I've lost weight
[x] I've gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[ ] I'm at my thinnest
[ ] I'm at my biggest
[ ] I've lost weight and kept it off
[x] I've lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[x] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[ ] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[x] I feel happy when I'm hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat
[x] I've skipped a meal
[x] I've thrown food away
[x] I've spit food out
[x] I've fasted
[ ] I've taken diet pills
[ ] I've used laxatives
[x] I've purged
[ ] I exercise
[ ] I exercise so I can eat
[ ] I work out secretly
[ ] I work out daily
[ ] I exercise to counteract eating
[x] I've fainted from exhaustion
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[ ] I have a ED blog
[x] I look at thinspo
[x] I collect thinspo
[x] I count calories
[ ] I've had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[x] I hate food
[ ] I love food
[ ] I want to be this way
[ ] I don't want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[ ] Being thin is my top priority
[ ] I don't want to get better
[ ] I am in treatment
[x] I'm doing this for me
[x] I'm doing this for someone
[x] I'm doing this to prove myself

I'VE DONE:
[ ] Weed
[ ] Cigarettes
[x] Alcohol
[ ] Diet pills
[x] Pain killers
[ ] Anti-depressants
[ ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Mushrooms
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine
[ ] Other

That survey made me angry because of how unorganized it was. I fixed it a tad bit. I feel nauseous and hungry and tired.